Member-only story
When You’re With a Loved One as They Die
What I Did, And How I Would Do Things Differently.
In March of 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic was in its early stages, and everyone was trying to figure out how to cope with the new reality.
My Dad, with dementia issues too great for Mom to handle, had just been moved to a facility where he could get 24 hour care and Mom could have some much needed relief. He’d been falling a lot, hitting his head and worrying Mom to bits. It was the first time in their 65 years of married life that they had been separated. I don’t believe Dad really understood what was happening.
Week One
I went to see him during the first week. I tried to explain why everyone was wearing masks, knowing that he would resist or at least be uncooperative if he was asked to do so. He hadn’t been able to watch the news, something he liked to do. As well, he didn’t know anybody.
“Everyone here is so old”.
“Yes, Dad”.
I did my best to try to explain the pandemic, not knowing how much he understood. He and I talked about his new accommodations, and I knew he didn’t understand that he and Mom would now only be sharing visits, not the companionship and partnership they had built for so many years.
